Cutciplan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unjust hyena.

Cutciplan created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutciplan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cutciplan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cutciplan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Cutciplan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Cutciplan.

2. Always look after injured sheep.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always take life seriously.