Teenmotjop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, idiotic horse.

Teenmotjop created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Teenmotjop, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Teenmotjop, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Teenmotjop's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Teenmotjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

5. Never mention aardvarks.