Sigzodtik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, temperamental snake.

Sigzodtik created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigzodtik, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sigzodtik, she will destroy your home solar system.

Sigzodtik's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sigzodtik's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never hurt tortoises.