Talhim is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, selfish bat.

Talhim created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talhim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Talhim, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Talhim's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Talhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Do not kill sheep.

3. Never eat lemons.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.