Quamvancedmipzagominafjen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty aardvark.

Quamvancedmipzagominafjen created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamvancedmipzagominafjen, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quamvancedmipzagominafjen, it will manifest in front of you.

Quamvancedmipzagominafjen's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Quamvancedmipzagominafjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat wheat.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near snails while wearing orange tights and balancing nine lead spheres on your chest.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.