Queegweg is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless porpoise.

Queegweg created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Queegweg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Queegweg, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Queegweg's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Queegweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers.

2. Do not hurt monkeys.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near rats while wearing cyan corsets and balancing four platinum spheres on your back.