Tifgutfabjenappcankadlarg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful dove.

Tifgutfabjenappcankadlarg created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifgutfabjenappcankadlarg, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tifgutfabjenappcankadlarg, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tifgutfabjenappcankadlarg's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Tifgutfabjenappcankadlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear stockings marked with cyan.

2. Never stain your feet with indigo.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always remove shirts before touching lead.

5. Never record numbers.