Hakarf is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unthinking frog.

Hakarf created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakarf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hakarf, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hakarf's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Hakarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near rats while wearing indigo jumpers and balancing four silver spheres on your legs.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hakarf.

3. Never feed carrots to eagles while wearing white shoes.

4. Never feed lentils to turtles while wearing rings.

5. Hakarf loves sheep, so they must be honoured.