Gudmadvonfit is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, all-knowing cat.

Gudmadvonfit created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudmadvonfit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gudmadvonfit, she will turn you into a rat.

Gudmadvonfit's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gudmadvonfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the south.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Run away if six eagles approach from the east.