Gov is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet bird.

Gov created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gov, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gov, he will make you grow a tail.

Gov's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gov's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never mention horses.

5. Always help ants in need.