Hitfligveg is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, sapient gerbil.

Hitfligveg created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hitfligveg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hitfligveg, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Hitfligveg's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hitfligveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always store figs above ground.

2. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never touch blood while unclean.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Always help horses in need.