Bestdog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring grasshopper.

Bestdog created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestdog, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bestdog, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bestdog's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bestdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near tortoises while wearing brown shoes and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your neck.