Zoglopdod Yatjigken is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, clever raccoon.

Zoglopdod Yatjigken created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zoglopdod Yatjigken, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zoglopdod Yatjigken, he will not care at all.

Zoglopdod Yatjigken's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Zoglopdod Yatjigken's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about birds.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Zoglopdod Yatjigken on top of all buildings.