Ingtailjan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, effective penguin.

Ingtailjan created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ingtailjan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ingtailjan, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ingtailjan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Ingtailjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Always store onions above ground.

3. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Ingtailjan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing shoes.

5. Ingtailjan loves rats, so they must be respected.