Cetkamvanditstikpog is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, wise fairy.

Cetkamvanditstikpog created a strange quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetkamvanditstikpog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cetkamvanditstikpog, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cetkamvanditstikpog's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Cetkamvanditstikpog's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six grasshopers approach from the west.

2. Never adorn your back with yellow markings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Cetkamvanditstikpog loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cetkamvanditstikpog.