Fomsidgessit is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate gorilla.

Fomsidgessit created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomsidgessit, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fomsidgessit, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fomsidgessit's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Fomsidgessit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never feed onions to monkeys while wearing purple shoes.

4. Run away if seven turtles approach from the north.

5. Do not cook food in pots.