Pitrakwik is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciful tapir.

Pitrakwik created the Black Eye Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pitrakwik, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pitrakwik, she will cry a lot.

Pitrakwik's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Pitrakwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about garlic.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never run near doves.