Gonflatduss is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, confident cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gonflatduss created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonflatduss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gonflatduss, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gonflatduss' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Gonflatduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Never feed gooseberries to gulls while wearing pink skirts.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Do not drink alcohol.