Gonpitbad is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthoughtful warg.

Gonpitbad created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonpitbad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gonpitbad, she will laugh at you.

Gonpitbad's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Gonpitbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gonpitbad.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Never think about gravity near rats while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing six aluminium spheres on your chest.

5. Never talk about special relativity.