Fumrothak is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, proud swan.

Fumrothak created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumrothak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fumrothak, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fumrothak's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fumrothak's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fumrothak.

2. Hide if four grasshopers approach from the north.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.