Jopcemfem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humane ant.

Jopcemfem created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopcemfem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jopcemfem, she will turn you into a frog.

Jopcemfem's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Jopcemfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not kill capybaras.

3. Do not prepare cucumbers while filled with envy.

4. You must pray to Jopcemfem six times a day.

5. Pray only in shadows.