Rapnakmat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, weak goblin.

Rapnakmat created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Rapnakmat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rapnakmat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Rapnakmat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Rapnakmat's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rapnakmat.

2. Erect four platinum sculptures of Rapnakmat on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Put Rapnakmat first in all things.