Yatkonquat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, awesome chicken.

Yatkonquat created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatkonquat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yatkonquat, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yatkonquat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yatkonquat's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never feed lots of beans to badgers while wearing turquoise tights.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.