Fotjapshav is a god.

It takes the form of a large, self-assured swan.

Fotjapshav created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fotjapshav, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fotjapshav, it will turn you into a slug.

Fotjapshav's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fotjapshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Run away if three eagles approach from the east.

5. Never think about optics.