Fetpidgod is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, effective wolf.

Fetpidgod created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetpidgod, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fetpidgod, it will curse you with boils.

Fetpidgod's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Fetpidgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms turquoise.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fetpidgod.