Quimmatgom is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty whale.

Quimmatgom created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Quimmatgom, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quimmatgom, it will ignore you.

Quimmatgom's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Quimmatgom's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Always obey Quimmatgom's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.