Vabnanarf is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody salamander.

Vabnanarf created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabnanarf, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabnanarf, he will turn you into a dog.

Vabnanarf's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vabnanarf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Vabnanarf on top of all buildings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never look at nebulae.