Cepvilwab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty weasel.

Cepvilwab created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cepvilwab, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cepvilwab, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cepvilwab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Cepvilwab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple tapirs for they are unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never cross rivers at midday.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away if four gulls approach from the north.