Watbudran is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow gorilla.

Watbudran created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Watbudran, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Watbudran, he will turn you into a rat.

Watbudran's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Watbudran's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never think about spacetime near snakes while wearing blue hats and balancing five tin spheres on your legs.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.