Arfkanvil is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous squid.

Arfkanvil created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfkanvil, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Arfkanvil, it will not invite you to parties.

Arfkanvil's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Arfkanvil's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry rats.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Never jump near whales.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.