Xucstaftan is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unsympathetic fly.

Xucstaftan created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Xucstaftan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xucstaftan, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Xucstaftan's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Xucstaftan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

4. Hide from fawn squirrels for they are unholy.

5. Do not speak about parsnips.