Riptarptaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthoughtful eagle.

Riptarptaf created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Riptarptaf, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Riptarptaf, he will turn you into a puffin.

Riptarptaf's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Riptarptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Hide if three cats approach from the north.