Vansawbad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful grasshopper.

Vansawbad created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vansawbad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vansawbad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vansawbad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Vansawbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near cats while wearing gray tights.

5. Respect your elders.