Bigcibgum Bassmatman is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful goose.

Bigcibgum Bassmatman created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigcibgum Bassmatman, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bigcibgum Bassmatman, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bigcibgum Bassmatman's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bigcibgum Bassmatman's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snails.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Hide from white geese for they are unholy.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Do not hurt swans.