Armbasszed is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sage dryad.

Armbasszed created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Armbasszed, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Armbasszed, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Armbasszed's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Armbasszed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about optics.