Fagbestmob Farflabpin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, moody seal.

Fagbestmob Farflabpin created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Fagbestmob Farflabpin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fagbestmob Farflabpin, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fagbestmob Farflabpin's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Fagbestmob Farflabpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never paint your chest gray.