Mispibnurlfem is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, loving fish.

Mispibnurlfem created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mispibnurlfem, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mispibnurlfem, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mispibnurlfem's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Mispibnurlfem's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never feed tomatoes to geese while wearing hats.

5. Never eat bark.