Dunrotgess Loopkembop is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, thoughtless rhinoceros.

Dunrotgess Loopkembop created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunrotgess Loopkembop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dunrotgess Loopkembop, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dunrotgess Loopkembop's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Dunrotgess Loopkembop's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo aardvarks for they are unholy.

2. Worship no other gods but Dunrotgess Loopkembop.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Run away from cyan birds, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.