Minnutten is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, contented snail.

Minnutten created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Minnutten, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Minnutten, he will destroy your favourite star.

Minnutten's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Minnutten's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Minnutten on top of all buildings.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never feed figs to pigs while wearing boots.