Capbonknurt is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, overgenerous hamster.

Capbonknurt created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capbonknurt, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Capbonknurt, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Capbonknurt's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Capbonknurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near eagles while wearing red skirts and balancing nine gold spheres on your head.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

4. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Capbonknurt in the centre of the settlement.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.