Talyokcum is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, thoughtless troll.

Talyokcum created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talyokcum, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Talyokcum, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Talyokcum's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Talyokcum's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three swans approach from the south.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Retreat if eight eagles approach from the west.

4. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.