Dutnulcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic jaguar.

Dutnulcuss created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutnulcuss, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dutnulcuss, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Dutnulcuss' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Dutnulcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.