Sigfutzig is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, moody gorilla.

Sigfutzig created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigfutzig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sigfutzig, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sigfutzig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sigfutzig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near ants while wearing green jumpers.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sigfutzig.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Do not hop in public.