Caddisslarpbonk Vigappan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, blissful bear.

Caddisslarpbonk Vigappan created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Caddisslarpbonk Vigappan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Caddisslarpbonk Vigappan, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Caddisslarpbonk Vigappan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Caddisslarpbonk Vigappan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Do not resist chaos.

4. Always obey Caddisslarpbonk Vigappan's priests.

5. Shun those given to vanity.