Madtaljan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, weak hydra.

Madtaljan created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Madtaljan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Madtaljan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Madtaljan's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Madtaljan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown turtles for they are unholy.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Always look after injured sharks.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near ants while wearing orange skirts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your face.