Japgovgun Sabhandob is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, irritating dove.

Japgovgun Sabhandob created the Sol system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Japgovgun Sabhandob, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Japgovgun Sabhandob, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Japgovgun Sabhandob's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Japgovgun Sabhandob's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Never skip in the presence of birds.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Always remove shirts before touching nickel.