Lagnakbat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous donkey.

Lagnakbat created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagnakbat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lagnakbat, he will jump up and down on your head.

Lagnakbat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Lagnakbat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured nematodes.

2. Never feed turnips to snakes while wearing scarves.

3. Do not hurt voles.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing yellow shoes and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.