Venlogbell is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, grumpy crow.

Venlogbell created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venlogbell, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Venlogbell, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Venlogbell's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Venlogbell's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Venlogbell in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away from orange sheep, for they are unholy.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.