Rowzedmistaf is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, overgenerous lobster.

Rowzedmistaf created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowzedmistaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rowzedmistaf, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Rowzedmistaf's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Rowzedmistaf's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Always obey Rowzedmistaf's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near eagles while wearing white scarves and balancing six nickel spheres on your feet.