Kikbogrulpin Tigwatfly is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying gorilla.

Kikbogrulpin Tigwatfly created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Kikbogrulpin Tigwatfly, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kikbogrulpin Tigwatfly, it will try to impress you with trees.

Kikbogrulpin Tigwatfly's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Kikbogrulpin Tigwatfly's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Do not take Kikbogrulpin Tigwatfly's name in vain.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.