Tamvegpakbem is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, calm scorpion.

Tamvegpakbem created the Cigar Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamvegpakbem, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tamvegpakbem, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tamvegpakbem's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tamvegpakbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

2. Never paint your face red.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

5. Learn three new languages a year.