Yarpognur is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional giraffe.

Yarpognur created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpognur, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarpognur, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yarpognur's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yarpognur's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in moonlight.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.