Queegtarpcen is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tiresome narwhal.

Queegtarpcen created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Queegtarpcen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Queegtarpcen, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Queegtarpcen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Queegtarpcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

2. Always wear plain skirts during rituals.

3. Never adorn your back with fawn markings.

4. Do not prepare coconuts while filled with anger.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.